My advice <given my own experience> for girls would be to hold your own— beyond holding your own door and holding your own damn purse which are two very easy tasks to do. This isn’t so much about marching to a feminist beat but still being able to distinguish yourself from your partner if and when…
Find meaning. Distinguish melancholy from sadness. Go out for a walk. It doesn’t have to be a romantic walk in the park, spring at its most spectacular moment, flowers and smells and outstanding poetical imagery smoothly transferring you into another world. It doesn’t have to be a walk during which you’ll have multiple life epiphanies and discover meanings no other brain ever managed to encounter. Do not be afraid of spending quality time by yourself. Find meaning or don’t find meaning but steal some time and give it freely and exclusively to your own self. Opt for privacy and solitude. That doesn’t make you antisocial or cause you to reject the rest of the world. But you need to breathe. And you need to be.
What’s a good book to read?
Yeah, unfortunately, my lappy bailed out on me, or the other way around, I supposed. (Lol) So here, I am, making my smart phone usable. Been doing mobile blogging for like 4 months already and I am getting the hang of it. My thoughts flow immediately, though because of this flow, I tend to have…
Charles Bukowski | Acrylics on canvas | 100x140cm
“I’ve never been lonely. I’ve been in a room — I’ve felt suicidal. I’ve been depressed. I’ve felt awful — awful beyond all — but I never felt that one other person could enter that room and cure what was bothering me…or that any number of people could enter that room. In other words, loneliness is something I’ve never been bothered with because I’ve always had this terrible itch for solitude. It’s being at a party, or at a stadium full of people cheering for something, that I might feel loneliness. I’ll quote Ibsen, “The strongest men are the most alone.” I’ve never thought, “Well, some beautiful blonde will come in here and give me a fuck-job, rub my balls, and I’ll feel good.” No, that won’t help. You know the typical crowd, “Wow, it’s Friday night, what are you going to do? Just sit there?” Well, yeah. Because there’s nothing out there. It’s stupidity. Stupid people mingling with stupid people. Let them stupidify themselves. I’ve never been bothered with the need to rush out into the night. I hid in bars, because I didn’t want to hide in factories. That’s all. Sorry for all the millions, but I’ve never been lonely. I like myself. I’m the best form of entertainment I have. Let’s drink more wine!”
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It’s 5 in the morning and I am already floating into outer space. I am tired physically and Mr. Sleep’s annoying me to just give up to him. I drank 2 iced coffee and it was not enough. It’s not enough to keep me awake. I started to get angry at everyone around me. I am getting that headache again. My jaw’s started to get stiff. I can’t hardly breathe. My heart’s pumping blood outside my ribcage like there’s no tomorrow. All of my senses were in chaos. And I can’t distinguish anymore what’s logical or not.
I daydreamt of bed; of my bed; of my pillows; of the pleasure to lie there. And I could not help but be excited to the idea of a restful sleep. I need that now. And my body’s screaming for it. Lol.
My head’s full of words ready to be written but will never be written down. It’ll remain inside my head till it’ll burst me open. Oh! It’s all negative aspect of me of that I want to explore, that I hate to share.
Right now, I am writing one aspect of me. An aspect when I don’t have sleep. An aspect when I am craving for sleep. And just an aspect of what’s running inside me when I am about to sleep. Hahahah.